Ernest Borgnine: Dead by his Own Hand

Ernest in front of his Hollywood hills home in 1969

Eterno riposo, concedere a loro, o Signore,
e lasciare che perpetua risplenda ad essi la luce
Maggio le anime dei fedeli defunti
attraverso il ricordo di Dio, riposa in pace,

I was truly saddened to hear that Ernest Borgnine died today.  In truth, I was surprised he was still alive. 95 years and what a full and rich life.  I grew up watching McHale's Navy, it's inane plots and bog-Hollywood standard imbecility got on my yet-to-bloom tits!! I remember his finely nuanced performance in his decorated movie Martyr Marty. New York Times reviewer Bosley Crowther praised Borgnine’s performance as “a beautiful blend of the crude and the strangely gentle and sensitive in a monosyllabic man.”


Ernest always reminded me of my father.  Strikingly similar hairline, forehead furrows, gap-toothed grin, stocky muscular body and a call-it-as-I-see-it "man's man" penetrating burst-your-bubble take on life.

In August 2008, when asked what his secret to longevity was, Ernest replied: "I masturbate a lot". The satire in Ern's answer may have gone unnoticed:

From Wikipedia

Doctor John Harvey Kellogg was an especially zealous campaigner against masturbation. Kellogg was able to draw upon many medical sources' claims such as "neither the plague, nor war, nor small-pox, nor similar diseases, have produced results so disastrous to humanity as the pernicious habit of onanism," credited to one Dr Adam Clarke. 


 Kellogg strongly warned against the habit in his own words, claiming of masturbation-related deaths "such a victim literally dies by his own hand," among other condemnations.


Kellogg believed the practice of "solitary-vice" caused cancer of the womb, urinary diseases, nocturnal emissions, impotence, epilepsy, insanity, and mental and physical debility – "dimness of vision" was only briefly mentioned.


In Plain Facts for Old and Young, Kellogg issued a warning on the evils of sex. Of the 644 pages, 97 address "Secret Vice (Solitary Vice or Self-Abuse)", its symptoms and results. Included are 39 signs indicating someone is masturbating.


He recommended, to prevent children from this "solitary vice", bandaging or tying their hands, covering their genitals with patented cages, sewing the foreskin shut and electrical shock. He also recommended burning off the clitoris to prevent masturbation in girls. Kellogg promoted male circumcision to prevent masturbation in boys.


Was Dr John Harvey Kellogg one sick fuck, or what?  Is the word 'zealous' code for 'sick fuck'?  It needs to be. Somebody tell the guys writing the DSM-V to slip that one in...